How many people marry their soulmate

Instead of seeing the friction for what it is — an invitation to grow — instead, we see it as an immovable problem, because…. Something would happen and my interpretation was that I had made a terrible mistake. Note the perception bias. In the middle of my angst, I would completely forget all the reasons I loved the man because it was so eclipsed by whatever we were going through at the moment.

Friction reveals our damage with pinpoint precision. It is painful, uncomfortable and exposing. Would we stop putting so much pressure on our romantic partners to make our lives everything we want them to be? Would we have a deeper appreciation for everything our partners bring into our lives with all of their quirkiness, misgivings and essential beauty? More importantly, if we stopped looking for "the one", would we pour more energy into becoming "the one"?

The hard reality is that the only person we can change is ourselves. We have the power to become. To stop trying to change our partner to get the life we want and start changing ourselves.

And when the focus moves from looking to another human for fulfillment to creating it within ourselves, you know what happens? But you know what is achievable?

Becoming the kind of person who is open enough to deeply connect with and love another human being. It requires us to develop our black belt in forgiveness. Not just with our partner, but for ourselves. It requires us to deal with childhood hurts. To ditch our normal patterns of closing up, fighting or fleeing when the inevitable conflicts arise and to work through our crap no matter how painful or shocking.

Not our defense mechanisms. Not our history. Not our aspirations. By William Park. Old-fashioned romantics might have the wrong idea about love. Strong beliefs in true love could be blinding you to both the good and bad in your partner, with sometimes toxic results. Psychologists have found two scales that influence how we start and maintain relationships. To find out how you score, take the two quizzes below. The Soul Mate scale Answer the following questions on a scale of one to seven, where one is strongly disagree and seven is strongly agree.

There is a person out there who is perfect or close to perfect for me. I couldn't marry someone unless I was passionately in love with him or her. There is no such thing as "Mr. Right" or "Ms. I expect my future husband or wife to be the most amazing person I have ever met.

People who are searching for a perfect match are wasting their time. Bonds between people are usually there before you meet them. The Work-it-out scale Answer the following questions on a scale of one to seven, where one is strongly disagree and seven is strongly agree.

In marriage, effort is more important than compatibility. In a relationship, love grows vs. If people would just put in the effort, most marriages would work. I could be happily married to most people, if they were reasonable. How well you know someone depends on how long you have known him or her. If I were to marry a random person, I would be satisfied.

Only over time can you really learn about your partner. To find out your score, add together your answers and divide by 9. For people who score well on the growth scales, a conflict can improve the strength of the relationship. Around the BBC. Close to nine out of 10 Americans in their 20s thought thedivorce rate was too high, and 47 percent believed laws shouldbe changed to make it more difficult to divorce, it said. The fear of divorce and the hunt for a soul mate couldexplain the high rate of young Americans who live togetherbefore getting married, the survey said.

Among those polled, 44percent had lived together, at some time, with a partner of theopposite sex while not married. Only 16 percent of young Americans saw having children asthe main purpose of marriage, while 62 percent believed it wasacceptable — although not ideal — for a woman to have a childon her own if she had not found the right man to marry. The soul-mate relationship also created tension when acouple had children, marriage experts said.

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